Invisible
by diasuta-deactivated
Summary: Mikuo is left out of everything when it comes to the official Vocaloids. When they all decide to make a birthday video for his sister and yet forget him, he gives up. Rated T for language and boy/boy fluff.
1. The Video

"Happy birthday Miku-chaaaaaan!"

I just stared sadly at the birthday video all the other Vocaloids had made for Miku. Why did they never include me in anything? It wasn't fair! It just wasn't! I'm a Vocaloid too! Kind of...

But Miku was _my_ adopted sister! Miku was the only Vocaloid I ever spent any quality time with! Miku was... Miku... was...

Miku was selfish. Miku was spoiled. Miku was the one constantly shoving everyone out of the spotlight, especially other Vocaloids.

I felt tears welling up.

I felt depression sneak into my chest.

Why was it always like this? I was invisible! I tried so hard to be noticed, only to inevitably fail and be ignored again. I harshly wiped away my tears, got up and walked away. The walk turned into a run. The run turned into a sprint. I was running far away, somewhere where the buildings couldn't block the view all around, somewhere where I could hide away until somebody came to look for me...

I ran smack into Nigaito as I rushed down the pavement. We both toppled to the ground.

"Oh, hi Nigaito..." I mumbled as I got up.

"Hi Mikuo," the smaller, green-haired fanmade said. His voice was like a whisper.

"You seem depressed. Why are you depressed?"

"It's nothing," I muttered. "Just leave me alone..."

"... No."

I halted, frozen in mid-step. Nigaito cared that I was depressed? Why on Earth-

"Come on," he said quietly, grabbing my hand. "I'm gonna help you, okay Mikuo? Being depressed is bad for you..."

I eyeballed the thin red marks on Nigaito's wrist as a sudden gust of wind blew up his sleeve, which he had rolled up. He'd been carrying something, I briefly remembered.

Nigaito pulled me into an apartment building. They went up to the fourth floor. That, apparently, was Nigaito's whole floor.

Of course, shared by somebody I knew very well.

"Akaito," I said flatly.

"Mikuo," Akaito said flatly back. My heart sank a little lower.

Nigaito shuddered from the tension in the air and pulled me into a different room. There was a large bed there. Nigaito shoved me down onto it.

"Tell me what happened," he said quietly, his vibrantly green eyes boring two gigantic holes in my conscience.

"... It's stupid..." I muttered.

Nigaito pinned him down on the bed. "Tell me," he said weakly, tears welling up in his eyes.

How could I say anything when Nigaito was acting like this? How could I say anything when I was being assaulted by those memories, memories of that horrible time...

My heart plummeted into my stomach, weighted by depression.

"Let me up and I'll tell you!" I yelled, more flustered than I should have been.

Shocked by my outburst, Nigaito let me up. I sighed at the idiocy of the reason why I was so down.

"The other Vocaloids... made a birthday video for Miku... and they left me out of it. You can laugh now."

Nigaito sat down next to me. I was starting to wish he'd just go away. I wanted to go somewhere where I could be alone. I wanted to be somewhere where I could cry, and nobody would ever know, and nobody would think any less of me for it...

I harshly wiped my tears again. Nigaito scooted closer.

"I... I'm not gonna laugh... I know exactly how you feel..."

There was a brief silence. Nigaito looked away.

"It feels like you're invisible," he whispered, barely audible. "Then, once you think you've finally gotten past it, they start treating you like nobody again. It's like they're playing a joke on you. It's like they're toying with your emotions. And if you open up even a little bit to one of them... they're the one who kills you the most in the end..."

Nigaito was citing the events of my past perfectly. To think that he'd actually been through the same thing... I secretly wondered who had been his wrong choice.

For a moment, I wanted to be his right choice.

Tears now spilling out of his eyes, Nigaito wrapped his arms around me. He kept muttering things that I couldn't understand at all.

Probably like he wouldn't understand if I had cried and accidentally told him all about me and Aka-

I shook that thought free of my head. Nobody would know. Nobody had to know. Nobody could know, because that would mean...

Slowly, I lifted Nigaito's head from my side, where it had been buried for a while now.

"Tell me what happened," I said quietly, my voice almost a whisper. Nigaito squirmed uncomfortably, like I had done only moments before.

Wasn't he supposed to be older than me? The thought flitted through my mind as he wiped the many tears from his big eyes.

"Well..." he began, "I-"

"I've heard enough," I interrupted.

The tears looked like they were going to pour again.

"I can read your mind," I mumbled quietly. "It's got the same problems as mine. And that means you shouldn't trust me, because you've had someone like me betray you before."

"B-but... you... you wouldn't betray me..."

"You don't know that," I said bitterly.

"You wouldn't... you couldn't..."

"Just how well do you know me, again?"

He winced. That one had been horrible of me to say. I couldn't stop, though. I lied to myself, insisting I was only testing him.

"You wouldn't betray me... because..."

I stared at him coldly. "Tell me why," I said, still bitter. "Tell me why I wouldn't."

"Because I could never betray you!" he blurted out. His cheeks were cherry red. I blinked a few times, feeling my defenses rapidly dropping.

He looked at me again, with those big green drills of his.

Pretending not to care, I flopped back onto my back. "I... wasn't being serious when I said all that, y'know." I tried to sound nonchalant, but could only just barely cover up the shaking in my voice. "I... you're right, I really couldn't betray you..."

Nigaito flopped down next to me. "I knew I was right," he whispered. "You're too nice to be like _them..._"

We both were silent for a while. I did some self-exploration.

Why did I hate the past? Because... No answer came to mind. Was it because I was too sensitive? Was it because I tried my hardest not to seem sensitive? Was it because Akaito was a conniving little-

Was it because I couldn't take a joke? Was it because I was always ignored?

... Was it because the one time I wasn't ignored...

Of course it was. I already knew that. But still... why did it sting so badly?

Did I l-

I turned to look at Nigaito. He seemed to be dealing with his own troubles.

I saw his eyes flit toward me.

I saw the slight blush that appeared on his face as he noticed me staring. A thought popped into my head.

Did he l-

I turned back to the ceiling. I reached for my headset to play something rock-ish and depressing- something to fit the mood.

My headset was at home.

I turned to face Nigaito.

He didn't face me. His eyes flicked over and he blushed, but he didn't move.

I started to think about why I always got so depressed. Maybe it was because Miku was so chipper all the time, that bitch...

I grabbed Nigaito's hand. If I wasn't alone, then I had a right to be clingy. Nigaito was going to keep me grounded this time.

I started to painfully think about the days I'd spent with Akaito.

Nigaito had always been there, watching from the sidelines. Him and those sad eyes of his. I was just noticing that now.

Akaito had been my best friend. Whenever something made me upset, I ran to him. I could cry around him. He understood, he told me. He told me that I could trust him.

That was a lie.

One day, I'd found him laughing with his adopted brother, _Kaito_, who had come to visit. They didn't see me standing in the doorway as they joked. It all seemed fine, like two regular guys talking, and then...

My name popped up.

If I remember correctly, the joke was "and then he started bawling like a baby"...

I cringed. The worse memories still lay buried in my mind, too painful for me to dredge up. Nigaito squeezed my hand, pulling me back to reality. There were his eyes again, big and sad and beautiful and a dark shade of green.

"Mikuo..." he whispered sadly. "Mikuo, I... I'm here..."

I fought back tears.

"Mikuo, you... you can cry... you can t-trust me..."

I saw Nigaito fighting back tears of his own. "Hypocrite," I mumbled.

He smiled at me sadly. His tears spilled over almost immediately.

Did he act like this around everyone?

That sent me over the edge. Tears wormed their way through my defenses and down my cheeks. Maybe it made me a little jealous to think that he opened up to everyone... Maybe I was just worried that he would get hurt too easy...

Maybe I l-

He wrapped his arms around me again. Secretly, I was glad he was being so clingy.

Because it seemed like he l-

I mentally slapped myself. That... was a ridiculous thought. There was no need to throw around the L word. Nigaito was just a shy person. And it was fine to be clingy when you were upset.

Those were _excuses_. Why was I making excuses?

I didn't have an answer for that.

"... Nigaito," I said relatively calmly.

He looked up. His eyes were still filled with tears.

And that broke my heart a little.

Oh my God, I l-

"Do you..."

He blinked expectantly.

"... L-"

I couldn't say any more. I gagged on those last three letters. Nigaito blinked again.

"What is it, Mikuo?"

"D-do you l-... me..." That was all I could say. The L word was unspeakable.

Because I'd said it bef-

Nigaito blushed slightly. "D-do I _what_ you?" he mumbled, trying to look away.

I made him face me again. I took a deep breath. I can say it, I thought. It's just one little word... that's... four letters long and starts with L...

Then it hit me. There was another L word. That one I could say just fine.

"Do you like me?" I blurted out.

Nigaito's face turned cherry red again. I was blushing too, so bad that it burned. It's definitely true, I thought to myself. If not the L word, then... At the very least, I like him. _Like_ like.

"W-well if you mean what I think you mean... then I guess you could say I do..."

We stared at each other for a while, not sure what to do next. I'd never liked anyone who liked me back before...

"Do you... like me?" he asked shakily.

"Y-yeah," I mumbled. "You think I would have asked if I didn't?"

We stared at each other for a while, not sure what to do next.

* * *

**I wrote this when I was depressed over always being ignored by my friends. Mikuo and Nigaito just struck me as the invisible type orz**

**I might write a second chapter if this gets any attention at all...  
**


	2. The Evening

It was Nigaito who spoke up first.

"I-it's getting kind of dark..."

I grinned to myself. My house wasn't that far away, I could walk there in five minutes. However, why pass up the opportunity to spend the night here? Ignoring Akaito's presence just outside, it could be a nice night, just the two of us. Just the thought of it made me ecstatic.

"I could always just stay here," I said happily, turning over onto my back yet again. "After all, your bed is big enough for two..."

I saw Nigaito blush again out of the corner of my eye. I grinned, blushing slightly myself. Since our... "confessions," we'd stayed in Nigaito's room. Really only a few minutes had passed, but it seemed like forever. I spotted a small radio and got up to turn it on. As if on cue, one of Miku's songs immediately began to play. It was one of her better yet less popular ones, 20XX. I quietly sang along. Nigaito smiled softly when he heard my voice.

"I'd sing along if I knew the words," he said quietly.

I nodded at him and kept singing. 20XX was one of my favorite songs, just because it was so different from all the junk Miku usually sang. All that crap about relationships that she'd never really been in kind of annoyed me.

"Learn the words then," I replied as the song came to an instrumental break. Nigaito's smile widened. "Maybe we could sing a duet," he said hopefully.

"I dunno, it seems pretty impossible. Some user would have to do a lot of planning to get our voices to go together on the same song..."

"... And you don't think that anyone would be willing to do that much for us, right? Yeah, you're probably right... but it would be really nice if we could."

"Yeah..." I sighed. Singing together with Nigaito... would be great. I imagined it. The two of us, headsets aglow, singing a love song- no, a sad, rock-ish song about being invisible... that would be perfect. Maybe we'll just write our own song, I thought. Maybe we'll just write it and keep it to ourselves, and we'll just sing it whenever we damn feel like it. No users will ever, ever hear it, selfish bastards.

I told Nigaito my thoughts. He giggled. In the brief space between songs on the radio, I launched off thinking again. This time I was thinking about Nigaito. What was his past like? I still had never found out who had hurt him so badly, when he'd known right when it happened that Akaito had betrayed me. If he didn't tell me who it was, how could I beat them up? My imagination wandered off into some crazy fantasy of me taking down the evil heartbreaker and Nigaito throwing his arms around me and kissing me passionately...

I jerked back to reality before things got out of hand. One of Kaito's songs began to play on the radio. It was a soft, slow piano song. Apparently this channel was reserved mostly for the less popular songs, because I could only just barely recognize the song. It was called Bittersweet Memories, right?

Nigaito began to faintly sing along, just like I'd hoped he would. I felt myself getting drowsy. I'd always had a weakness for piano songs, and the two voices softly singing were both enchanting in their own way. I yawned.

I turned over on my side. I could fall asleep right then and there. I heard the small click of Nigaito turning the radio off as the song ended.

"You're going to sleep in your clothes?" he asked. My reply was the ever-eloquent "umf." I was tired. I didn't feel like getting up.

Nigaito climbed back into bed. He pulled the blankets out from under me and pulled them back over. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, forcing him closer.

Then I realized he wasn't wearing any clothes.

I did nothing except blush a little. He was thin without his too-big coat on, and his skin was comfortably warm. I was tempted to feel him up just to keep the sensation of his bare skin on my hands. Maybe it was just because I was tired...

* * *

**That was definitely shorter than I wanted it to be. It's not my fault that Mikuo fell asleep =3=;  
**

**I actually opened up Audacity and made a Mikuo version of 20XX and a Nigaito version of Bittersweet Memories while I was writing this. =w=**

**Thanks to donttouchmykyoya818 and Rainfog for being my first ever reviewers~ third chapter is in the works to make up for the shortness of this one owo;;;  
**


	3. The Morning

**I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. OTL**

* * *

I woke up when Nigaito shifted in his sleep sometime early in the morning. The early morning light was only just starting to shine into the window. I sat up and ran a hand through my messy hair. I didn't want to go outside, because Akaito was out there. He'd always been an early riser, too. Maybe not this early, but leaving before Nigaito was even awake would be horrible of me. Waking him up was mean too.

I got up and timidly went outside. I tried to remember which parts of the floor squeaked. I succeeded in finding what had to be the loudest route anyone could ever possibly take to the bathroom. After some much-needed relief, I grabbed a comb and fixed my hair. I sighed at my ever-present cowlick and found a slightly quieter route to the kitchen. I rummaged around a bit and found some cereal. I took my time eating it, staring at the wall clock because I had nothing better to do.

It was seven o'clock. When I finished eating, it was seven fifteen. I watched the second hand go around in circles for a few more minutes, then dumped my dishes into the sink and snuck back to Nigaito's room. I took a good look around. It was fittingly green.

I spotted his scarf hanging from a hook on the wall. I stared at it for a little while, thinking.

I pressed it to my nose and inhaled deeply. So... this was his scent... It was heavily laden with the same scent that was all around me in his room, along with a faint trace of mint. I blushed slightly as I realized what I was doing and left the scarf alone.

I kept looking around for something to do and eventually spotted a sleek, thin laptop sitting on a chair. I marveled a bit at it, then carefully picked it up and turned it on. Nigaito probably wouldn't mind if I used it for a little while, since he was asleep and all.

I poked around on random sites for a while, trying to entertain myself. I read manga and played online games even though I sucked at every one of them. Nigaito shifted in his sleep again, and I wondered when he was going to wake up.

I looked at him for a little while. He was really pale from wearing that jacket everywhere he went. I walked around to the other side of the bed and gently lifted up his arm.

There were an awful lot of scars. It looked painful. I was going to punch whoever had forced him to this _so hard._ I went back over to the computer fuming and resumed wasting my time.

Nigaito's alarm clock started buzzing. I glared at it and paused the random online game I'd been playing. Nigaito groaned, half awakened by the annoying beeping.

I walked over and found the "off" button. I smiled at the half-awake Nigaito, who was still trying to figure out what the heck had just happened. "I got it," I said quietly. "Just go back to sleep. You deserve it."

He nodded sleepily and turned over.

* * *

**IT'S THE CURSE OF THE REALLY SHORT CHAPTERS. SOMEBODY HELP ME, I CAN'T STOP O_O**

**orz Boring mornings are boring.  
**


	4. The Apartment

**About not updating:**

**TOUHOU ATE MY INSPIRATION.**

**BLAME MY FRIEND WHO SENT ME THE GAME.**

**... So to make up for it, this is officially the longest chapter so far, and it will probably stay the longest since it kills me to make proper scene transitions. =3=;  
**

* * *

It was a while before he woke up again. By then I'd given up on the computer and had been staring at the ceiling. I was seriously considering actually leaving, too. I seriously considered it... until I heard Akaito outside, that is.

He knocked on the door and I froze. He called Nigaito softly. I started trembling, and it wasn't just because I was holding my breath.

I heard him try to open the door and couldn't help but sigh with relief. Of course Nigaito had locked the door. He of all people should know how I was...

I froze again when I heard a key scrape the inside of the lock. I tried to look relaxed as Akaito stormed in. He'd been yelling at Nigaito for locking the door. He'd accused me of rape.

His eyes narrowed as he spotted me lying on the bed, desperately trying to seem relaxed but too desperate to seem anything else. "Mikuo," he growled threateningly, "Why the fuck are you still here?"

That stung. I bit my lip and tried to seem like I didn't care what he said. "Why the fuck should you care?" I snapped back, doing my best not to sound hesitant or regretful. "And just so you know, I didn't _rape_ Nigaito. Unlike you, I have some respect for him."

There was a death threat in his blood red eyes. Starting to enjoy this charade of being better than him, I crossed my legs and went back to staring at the ceiling, knowing perfectly well that the smug smile on my face infuriated him. Really, I was surprised that Nigaito hadn't woken up yet. Akaito had a really loud voice to begin with, and my smart remarks would only make him yell louder. I wondered if Nigaito really was awake, and just pretending to be asleep. Nah, he'd probably cry if he heard this...

Instead of saying anything, Akaito stormed back out. I gently shook Nigaito awake.

"Mmm... hunh..? Mikuo, what..."

"Good morning," I said quietly. I kissed him on the forehead and appreciated the fact that_ I could do that now._ I had a cute, kind lover with whom I could do all the things that lovers were supposed to do. So what if my lover was a boy? Most of the girls I knew couldn't hold a candle to him.  
(A/N: *coughmikucough*)

Nigaito blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?" he mumbled. According to the alarm clock, it was almost noon.

"It's quarter to twelve," I murmured back. "I let you sleep in. What are you doing getting up at seven thirty every day, anyways? It's not like we have to go anywhere in the mornings..."

"Akaito..."- he winced as he was forced to say that name in front of me -"well, if I'm not up before him, he thinks there's something wrong. And before you say anything, it's because I used to be a very early riser right when we met. It's not against my will or anything."

I wasn't convinced. Maybe that was just me trying to find a decent reason to hate him, a really decent reason that wouldn't falter when I actually thought about it a little. I shook my head, trying to throw him out of my thoughts.

"Do you think we could stay at my place for a while?" I muttered.

Nigaito's eyes widened as he jumped to the conclusion that he'd done something wrong. "S-sure," he stuttered.

I smiled a bit to myself through the depression that was slowly settling over me yet again. He's so cute. He cares about me- _me_! I took his hand, and a little bit of the weight lifted from my chest.

"I-I have to get dressed first, idiot!"

I laughed. It was like Nigaito was shielding me from depression. One minute it'd been there, now I was too busy laughing to care if I was depressed or not.

"Turn around," he mumbled, blushing.

"Why should I?" I teased. "After all, I've gotta see it sometime..."

He threw his pillow at my face. I laughed and turned around. I listened happily to the little sounds all the things in the room made as Nigaito got ready. The rustling blankets, the creaking floorboards, Nigaito muttering to himself about one thing or another...

I felt fabric cover my eyes. "Guess who?" Nigaito joked. I grinned.

"Hmm... Miku?"

"Oh yes, dear brother," he said in falsetto. I grinned and grabbed his hand again. Too bad it was covered by his sleeve. We walked out together, and I started to think we maybe had a chance of getting out without being noticed-

"Where do you think _you're_ going?"

Too late. Nigaito turned around and tried nervously to explain. I just scowled at the door.

"Akaito, w-we were just going to Mikuo's-"

"Oh no you aren't. You're not going anywhere with _that_ _boy._"

"Akaito, please, he's not a bad guy-"

"How do you know that?"

"Because... because he's like me!"

"... Like you? That _rat_ is nothing like you, Nigaito."

I flinched every time he insulted me. I felt the tension in the air as they fought each other mentally. "Come on, Mikuo," Nigaito growled, "let's go."

"I couldn't agree with you more," I said flatly, and we walked out together, no doubt leaving Akaito behind speechless. Nigaito had most likely never disobeyed him like this before.

Once we got outside, I tried to calm down a bit. We were away from Akaito now. Nobody would try and mess me up now that we were away. I took Nigaito's hand again and led him the familiar way to my apartment.

... Something wasn't right. Something was different about walking home this time, I couldn't quite put my finger on it...

That was it! There were people actually looking at me!

All around, the people walking by were staring at us. Some people sneered or glared. Others - mostly teenage girls - giggled and gazed on in wonder. The rest of the people might have only shot a sideways glance once and moved on, but that was still paying attention. Now that we were together, Nigaito and I weren't invisible! This was so amazing!

I felt a tug on my arm and turned around to find Nigaito practically in tears. "M-make them stop being mad at me," he mumbled. "I didn't do anything wrong..."

I was suddenly at a loss. While I'd been basking in all the attention, Nigaito had been seeing only the anger. And he didn't handle anger well. I felt a pang of guilt at the realization that this was my fault. It was my fault because I hadn't been paying attention to him and my fault because him being with me meant he got a whole lot more glares than he deserved. I started to glare back at the passerby.

"It's okay," I murmured. "They're just prejudiced bastards. They don't know anything about you and me except that we're somehow together, and they think that gives them the right to hate us..."

"I-I don't wanna be hated..."

I pulled him along as he wiped his teary eyes, not sure how to answer him. What was I supposed to say to something like that? "Don't worry, you're not"? Though I hated to admit it, that was a lie. The rest of the way there, I glared back at every person who looked down on Nigaito. I wouldn't let them get to him. I would figure out a way to make this better.

He didn't smile again until we were through the door and it was locked behind us. I hugged him close. "You can't let them get to you, Nigaito," I murmured, trying to comfort him. "Once they get to you, they win. And once they win, our relationship is in shambles. So don't let them bug you, okay?"

He nodded and wiped his tears again. I seriously felt the need to punch every homophobe on the planet.

"So, uh," he mumbled, "can you show me around? I've never been here before..."

It's an apartment, I thought. If you turn in a circle you've just taken the grand tour. Regardless, I wanted to show him around the few rooms that I spent the majority of my life in. "You should take your jacket off first, _monsieur,_" I said with a grin. "It's only polite."

Blushing slightly, Nigaito shrugged off his too-big coat, to reveal... he actually was wearing a shirt underneath, a green T-shirt. That was a bit of a disappointment.

I took his coat and hung it on a nearby chair. He put his scarf on the chair too, which made me kind of happy. I grabbed his hand for the fourth time in the past fifteen minutes and led him around my little apartment. "Here's the kitchen, here's the bathroom, and here's the bedroom. Your tour, sir, is now over."

I mock bowed, making him laugh. I jumped on my bed and kicked my shoes into the hallway, glad to be finally home. Nigaito shyly shed his shoes as well and climbed up next to me.

"Sorry about the lack of anywhere else to hang out," I said. "I'd have to rent a whole other apartment next to this one to get a living room as well as what I already have, so I just keep everything in here..."

I blushed, slightly self-conscious of all the things scattered around my messy room. Nigaito's room had been spotless and in perfect order, and mine was a pigsty by comparison. I flicked on the television, hoping for a distraction.

Nigaito looked around a few times before leaning back next to me. "I like it here," he said quietly, yawning as he did. "It just feels like I can relax easy..."

"Maybe it's 'cuz your room is always so neat. My pigsty appeals to you."

He nodded thoughtfully. We were both silent for a while, semi-absorbed in the TV.

I felt Nigaito shift nervously. I glanced over and saw nothing wrong, but I have a tendency to overlook the obvious. He shifted again, and his eyes darted to me for a split second, then quickly away. "... Something wrong?" I asked.

He flinched. "U-um... I was wondering," he began nervously. His face was cherry red again.

"You think we could... kiss?" he asked nervously. I blushed a bit myself, realized that we in fact had not kissed yet. Also, an unpleasant thought came with that idea- I had never really kissed anyone before, what if Nigaito had? What if it was that person who'd betrayed him? What if when I saw them, knowing this, and I really did kill them-

I shifted nervously. Nigaito, he must have been thinking about this for a while. After all, he'd walked in on a few awkward moments with me and-

I shook my head furiously. No, _no_, _NO_. I was not going to start thinking this. I met Nigaito's nervous gaze, losing myself in his emerald eyes. A kiss would be nice, wouldn't it? "Yeah," I mumbled, still blushing just a bit.

We just sort of stared at each other for a while. I was partially glad the television filled the silence, but there was this ridiculous thought that the characters of the show would get to see our first kiss... I scooted a bit closer to him. Our _first kiss_. My first kiss and hopefully his.

I scooted closer again. Nigaito had gotten the hint by then and scooted a bit closer too.

We were close now, so close I could just barely feel his body heat. Just the tiniest distance away from my own were his lips.

I hesitated. This was such a big moment! I was nervous! He was nervous! _We were nervous!_ It was only natural to be!

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale. Breathe, you idiot. Now kiss him, you dumbass. I opened my eyes to find Nigaito closer than he was before, just in time for our lips to gently touch. We broke after just a few seconds, both of us very, very red in the face.

"... Again?" Nigaito asked shyly.

"... French kiss?" I asked nervously and at the same time.

Both of us were silent for a little while.

* * *

**Ending chapters like this is so unfair. You're welcome *sadistic laugh***

**This chapter turned out mostly like I wanted it to. It's refreshing to know that this fanfic is no longer a mutant sewerbaby that writes itself.**

**Now that this is done, I go back to obsessively playing Touhou. XwX  
**

**Another chapter will be uploaded... eventually orz Let's go with soonish.**

**Also, I had a horrible time with the chapter title. I've decided to be annoying and make every one a "The *something*", so it was hard to think of a title that wouldn't give away stuff that happened. I almost called it "The Kiss" but not only is that corny, it's a total spoiler and all you can think is "THE TITLE LIEEEEED D:" until you get to the very end... so The Apartment it is.  
I know I've just thrown myself into an abyss and will have an even more horrible time with the next chapter title... but it looks cool. orz  
**


	5. The Visit

**I am _so_ sorry for not updating in so long! ;A; I must have lost the few loyal readers I had by now...**

**I blame school and writer's block. ;w;**

* * *

"... That was your first kiss, right?"

I closed my mouth, having opened it to ask the exact same question. I nodded, a slight smile on my face. "It was your first kiss too, wasn't it?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. "Good," I mumbled. "'Cuz if it hadn't been, I would've had to murder the person who took it..."

After a slightly awkward moment of silence, I let Nigaito go and turned my attention back to the TV. Yeah, that'd teach me to say sentimental things. It didn't help the fact that I wasn't exactly overflowing with happy gooey lovey-dovey thoughts in the first place. Most of the time it was just... awkward. Awkward because I knew nothing about romance. I was kind of happy in my awkwardness, though. In fact, I hadn't had a real fit of depression since we'd gotten together, and normally they happened pretty frequently. I leaned back and stared at the ceiling for a while, finding little patterns in the messy ridges. It seemed like every time I looked there was something new and different.

I yawned, my significant lack of sleep last night starting to catch up with me. I shook my head fiercely, trying to clear it of the sleep-fog that was slowly settling inside it. I needed to go do something to keep myself awake. Actually do something, not just lie around watching TV or surfing the Net.

"Hey Nigaito, let's go somewhere."

He quickly turned to face me, red in the face. "Wh-what?" he stuttered. "L-Like a d-d-date?"

I grinned. "If you call visiting a friend romantic, then sure."

He smiled, the blush slowly fading from his cheeks. "It's only romantic if I'm the one you're visiting," he teased.

I grinned back and started to lead the way. He grabbed my hand this time, which made my smile widen. I ran full speed down the stairs, pulling him with me. He just barely had time to grab his jacket as we raced out, trying frantically to get it on before I got outside. I stopped at the bottom of the staircase, giving him a few seconds to stumble down next to me and catch his breath. "Never... do that... again," he panted. I grinned.

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't."

He groaned and sat on the stairs. "Don't you leave me," he growled semi-threateningly as he pulled on his jacket. "Don't you dare dash off again, or I will strangle you."

"I'm sooo scared."

"Grr!"

"Really, I'm quaking in my sneakers."

He just sighed and pushed himself up. "If you start running, I will stab you in your sleep."

I laughed again and wrapped my arm around his shoulder as he leaned against me. I secretly gloated to myself about what the people on the street would think when they saw _that._

Faintly, a memory in the back of my mind nagged at my swelling ego. How Nigaito had cried because of the same glares that made me so inexplicably happy. Whoops. I stopped at the door and looked down at Nigaito. He looked confident enough. "... Will you be okay this time?" I whispered, trying to sound genuinely worried but not worried enough to piss him off if he was strong enough to handle it.

"Of course," he said irritably. Whoops.

"Sorry, I was just-" I began to explain, but he just pulled me out the door. I caught a hint of red on his face. I basked in the stares of the passerby as I was dragged down the street, grinning mischievously at all the glarers around us. A couple of high school girls giggled as I raised an eyebrow at them, then winced as Nigaito tugged harder on my arm, apparently trying to pull it out of its socket.

"Stop flirting!" he whispered angrily. I blushed slightly as I realized that had in fact been what I was just doing.

_Whoops._

I felt like such an idiot. I had never made such a horribly idiotic stream of dumb mistakes like that before, and especially not in such a short time. I had a feeling it wasn't over yet, too. Stupid me, I cursed myself. Stop being such an egotistical _jerk_ and start thinking before you act!

Maybe this was just what liking him did to me. Maybe that was an excuse. Either way, I at least needed to stop making the obvious mistakes. _Like flirting with random girls!_ Had I been a flirt at before? Come to think of it, had I been a flirt ever? Maybe, when I got happy like I had just been...

I shook my head, trying to clear it of all those stupid thoughts as Nigaito slowed down, obviously remembering he had no clue where I was taking him. I pulled him close again, a pleasant, fuzzy feeling settling in where worry and regret had been only moments before, and started to lead the way again. I hugged him tightly, as though that could shield him from the glares that we still received, and we made our way to _his_ house.

"LUUUUUKIIIIII," I shouted, kicking open the door casually. "I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME BEING HERE, 'CUZ I'M NOT LEEEAAAVIIIING."

Luki poked his head around the corner, scowling. "Mikuo," he started to say, but then something else interrupted. He suddenly looked alarmed, which was not normal, and ran inside. We followed, Nigaito looking really worried. I was really just curious.

There was a silver mass of hair attached to a pale, limp body. The still girl was dressed in clothes that looked like a slightly more modest version of Rin's signature outfit. "Lin!" Nigaito shouted, rushing over to the other side of the couch. So this was Lin, huh? What was her last name... Kurone, wasn't it? No, something else...

I mentally kicked myself for not being able to remember her name. I wasn't a stuck-up jerk like any official Vocaloid! I should be able to remember names of fellow fanmades at the very least!

"Lin! Lin, are you okay? Luki, what happened?"

Luki, who seemed a bit behind on the seriousness of Lin's condition, slowly started attempting to explain. "Well, we jus' sang Anti the∞Holic an' all, an' she jus' sorta came in here and collapsed. She's gotta real nice voice, though. Strong. Womanly. Not like a lot a' them other girl 'Loids..."

I looked on in silence as an unfamiliar look of kindness came over Luki. Was that what I looked like when I looked at Nigaito? I looked over to the frantic boy and felt a small smile creep over my face. Yup, it was. I shook it off and walked over to most likely mess things up.

Lin's eyes opened slowly. She groaned and rolled over on the small couch, curling up into the fetal position. Nigaito continued shaking her, now even more frantic than before. "What," she groaned after several more minutes.

"Lin! Wake up! It's Nigaito! You passed out, I was so worried about you-"

I felt a slight pang of jealousy hearing those words come from his mouth. Lin, apparently annoyed into consciousness, turned over and glared at Nigaito.

"I'm fine," she said dryly. "I was fine all along, and I will be fine. Now go away."

"But, Lin-"

"I'm tired!" she yelled irritably. "Aren't you ever tired after singing a hard song? Leave me alone!"

Though he looked a bit put out, which sparked another wave of jealousy from me, Nigaito did, in fact, leave Lin alone. I walked away with my hands shoved in my pockets, trying to restrain the murderous intent that my subconscious, smitten mind had directed towards her.

Okay, maybe "murderous intent" was going a bit far, but I was still pissed. Nigaito followed me out, now fretting over me, which only _slightly_ lifted my mood.

Oh, looks like I'm getting depressed again.

_**Whoops.**_

This was the other kind of depression, the kind that was cold and not needy. It was more like anger, fury. Either way, I wanted to be alone again. I was _not_ allowed to enjoy the happiness that came from Nigaito chasing me, because I didn't want to be chased. I wanted to be _alone._

Still, part of me kept the icy rage tight under control when it came to Nigaito. I could have just yelled at him to go away, but not only would that confuse him, he'd also be horribly hurt and most likely cry. The two sides of my mind fought it out as I kept walking, Nigaito slowly falling behind due to his height.

"Mikuo!" he cried to my deaf ears. "Mikuo, slow down! Wait! Stop! _Mikuo!"_

I continued walking. The more he chased me, the worse it got. The more he chased and followed and tried to help, the more ground that side of me that couldn't bear hurting him lost. He kept yelling my name in vain. Heads turned. Glares came, this time not directed at _us,_ but at _me_. Nigaito was the good guy now that he was crying. Society was such a fickle bitch.

* * *

**This was... it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to orz.**

**I could have tried to make it a little longer, but it seemed decent length to post and I just wanted to prove I am STILL ALIIIIVE.**

**Sixth chapter is totally on the way. ;w;/  
**


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